Warning (some of the Content has some Suicidal shit, Profanity, self-harm, and little Mention of medicine abuse. If you are sensitive to these topics I Recommend you leave
hello, I am Mexican_man (if you didn't know lol) you may be asking "What's in my notebook" Well because I was bored and felt like exposing myself I might regret this lol. anyways on to the blog
here is some Context I broke up with Lexi because she's doing something with 2 other ppl )
I got back with Lexi because I still love her but last night noob tried to kill himself I talked him out of it and I hope he lives [end of log]
today I was cutting myself I don't know why I think I just hate myself idk I just stopped I hope I don't do it again[end of log]
(later the day)I counted how many times I cut myself and it was 13 times wow I hate myself [end of log]
(also later that day) Lexi told me that she has been cutting herself too I wish she didn't do it, but she did and I can't stop her. She said that she was cutting her leg "just to feel something". she started school. I wish I could see her[end of log]
Lexi was not online for a long time she said that she was watching a movie. I said ok but I didn't believe her but who am I to judge? I hope she was not doing what I think she is doing [end of log]
(later that day) I did not ask her if she was doing what I thing she was doing and I didn't want to ask her. Anyway, I went to the beach and found $20 I spent it on food for everyone with me. today was ok but I hope lexi is not doing what I think she is doing [end of log]
(here are somethings wrote idk why its there)
mis= my little simp
bby= baby
lyt= love you too
I want to cut myself. I was doing pills again I want to stop but I can't. I am going to get more form Lucy (when I mean get I meant take) it's like 9:57 (idk if it's AM or PM) i want to see Lexi [end of log]
(later that day) I was talking to Lexi but Lucy stop means she took my laptop[end of log]
today was boring benten was talking shit about noob and so was noob. today Lexi was "something" (can not say) (I can't say some of this so I am just going to cut to the last part) but we stop so we can sleep [end of log]
(this is when Aryan became part of paint)
today was not so great someone was being racist to me and my friends. I spam bomb him and he spam bomb me some nfsw, but we got him banned. In a short time, he came back with a new a acct and shit. cake is now sad. (again I can't say this part so I am cutting this part)but I still love her. the guy (aryan) had stopped coming back I hope he's not on tomorrow [end of log]
I fucking broke the dsi and I have been talking to myself. I want to scream. i just want to scream. I JUST WANT TO FUCKING SCREAM
I DONT WANT TO LIVE. I NEED HELP.FUCK WHY DO WE FUCKING LIVE. I WANT TO KILL MYSELF. WHY DOSE (I don't know what I wrote here) "hart" HURT. DO I MISS LEXI? (there are some small things I wrote in that page so I am going to put them here)
LEAVE ME HERE TO DIE. FUCK YOU. I JUST WANT TO SCREAM. SCREAM (under that was a line and the words AHHHHH) I WANT HER TO HATE ME. WHY? HELP.RUN!!!WHY DO WE LIVE.KILL YOUR SELF.LIES!? DO YOU LOVE HER? I FUCING HATE HER. FUCK YOUUUUU. [end of page]
I cut my self again.i did it because i wanted to feel something’ i guess lexi was mot wrong oh yea i broke up with lexi like two days ago lol (yes i did write that)i had a mental breakdown (i have decided to cut some of this out because some of this is uncomfortable for me to put here)i am going to cut my self again. i might do some drugs (at this time i was not in my right mind and started doing medicine abuse) nvm i am going to do drugs lmao. [end of log]
I am not ok, i cut my self again for what? fun? like what the hell man you need to stop. I hope i get better [end of log]
I told lexi to leave me the fuck alone [end of log]
Last night i was doing [medicine abuse] again. I went on paint, and aryan was on there. Its easier to act like he is better then take his shit (if you meet aryan dont act lie he’s better just ignore him and report him to a admin) [end of log]
[later that day] i am back anyways aryan was being a simp to tia [tia is cool] [end of log] (btw i am cutting some parts out because its not important)
It has been a long time since i wrote in here, anyways i have cut my self a few times. I belive i have only cut my self only 3 times since the last time i wrote in here, but i have been geting better tho. I have made new friends yay! [end of log]
I am 14 now yay! But i still have my shitty life. I have wanted to cut my self for a while now fuck it i am going to fucking do it. I am going to fucking cut my self. [end of log]
[i think about 10 mins after writing that] i cut my leg welp fuck anywyas i am going to go to bed good night [end of log]
This is the end of “whats in my note book” what you just read is what was going on in my head. And i am now proud to say i am better now. And i am happy for all the ppl i have ment (even you aryan) on paint
Thx to you guys i am the person i am to day is my mentll health better? Yes it is
And once again thank you for reading my blogs and have a good night or day where ever you are
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