To Future Me
(Do not read or make an update blog until January - July 2026.)

I need to change who I am, theres literally no question in that.

So heres the things im striving to change by the time i can finally be free.

1. Taking a break from Paint online friendships
Online friendships arent that healthy for me, I do things i wouldnt nomrally do or say in comparison for a normal irl one. For Paint, basically not be here that often, or if i am, just not talk, since theres been a justifiable hate atm. So i want to hopefully take a break from all this and reflect

2. Work on myself, don't attention seek
Basically change my personality. Im not a psychopath. I feel regret and remorse, i just need to learn that, online, i need to think about how my actions will affect people, or don't say things for no reason, or for attention. I need to work on my mental health and who i am, and how i treat people. And hopefully, after this, I can look back and see how much ive changed.

3. Focus on my education and family
I need to mostly focus on doing well academically, im at the most important year of my life education wise, and thats skmething i really need to focus on. I also want to fund for the people i care about. Save money so i can help my grandma or retire my mom, i need to care for the people who are always here for me.

4. Make amends
I know that almsot everyone on Paint now dislikes or actively hates me. I know that i deserve it, i know that its justified. But I eventually want to have closure. I want to show im changing, i want to apologise to the people ive hurt. I want everyone to know that its okay that they hate me, and is something agreeable. But I don't want the guilt of what ive done haunt me. I want to try make things right. Even though theres people who i know will never forgive me, i want to at least try my best.

5. Love Myself
I want to accept everything thats happened, i want to stop having suicidal thoughts, i want to stop cutting. I want to look at myself in the future, and be happy at what j see, i want peace, i want to be different. And hopefully with change, i csn finally love who i am.


To future me: i hope that the things I've strived to change end up coming reality. I want to change for the better, and i hope your doing well. Good luck leaving the horrible home situation you deal with, and I hope you've found peace. If you leave this site forever, which i hope not, because Paint is one of the most important and changing place of my life, i hope its for a good reason.

Good luck me

- Cory
1st of September 2025


PS: this is for me to look back at in the future, if you read this, idk what to say, I hope your doing well? meh. just read and move on from this. This is for myself.