Matter: Why does it matter?
What makes it important? Why do we need to know about protons and electrons? Why do we need to care about the positive and negative charges of atoms? We’ll never see an ion. We can only imagine what they look like. What they act like. How negatively charged ions act around positively charged ones. Maybe as people, we can relate. Maybe as humans, we can humanize it. Maybe I'm an anion in a room of cations.
L
ike atoms, people react to those around them. I’m negatively charged, so when a positively charged someone comes near me, they get an electron. But you see, they don’t want the electron, and it makes them negative towards me. That’s a big difference. Atoms are nothing like people. When you give them something, they are grateful. They might want to join you. If Dioxide meets Hydrogen they connect, get into a permanent relationship, till death do them part and all that. If you give a person something, they might like it. They might want more, take more than you have. Or they may hate it, break it, break you. That’s... not all that great.
Now, they can’t physically break me. I look like a girl. I may not dress like one, but to them, I look like a girl. I’m not really a girl. I have the bits and bobs of one but I’m not. I’m a dude, a guy, a male. I don’t bother telling them that though. They don't need to know. They might hate me less, or more, but it still would go unwell. They may respect me and my rights (Yay!), but if I'm a guy just like every other one, what if they act like I am one, like they can hit me and it’d be ok. But if I’m male, I shouldn’t be scared of that. I should man up as they say. Maybe I'm just a coward. And transphobes and homophobes would hate me. There are lots of them. They aren’t obvious, but the looks they give my friends and me, like a silent “Look at the queer freaks and their little friend. Why would she even associate herself with them? What's wrong with them?†And don’t get me started on the scared ones. They look at them with this look of fear, as if they think we can pass it on like the flu. Stupid transphobes with their stupid “Being LGBTQ+ is a mental illness†mentality.
If I don’t tell them, they’d think I’m just bad at being female, they would see me as the fat, stupid, awkward, and overall undesirable girl. I don’t want that... that would suck. Not only am I not a girl, but I'm already self-conscious about these things. I wear hoodies do hide my body, I subconsciously hide my face when someone walks by. I cringe whenever I talk, terrified that I sound like an idiot. And what if I tell them and they don’t care, they just see me as the fat stupid awkward and overall undesirable guy.
And it doesn't help when I doubt everything myself.
It doesn't help when I ask myself constantly: "What am I?"
I relate to this a lot. Especially, past me. I sort of don't care what people think anymore. Sometimes I do. But fuck I try not to. Don't let other people determine who you are or put you in a box that you aren't.
You do matter, and I think it's kinda sad how some people are so obsessed with things like gender that they are willing to bulky another person simply because of their gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, etc.
You are you, and as your friend, I know that you matter, and you should let a bunch of simpleminded jackasses try to convince you otherwise.
(IDK how to get them to stop, but just always remember that they are the messed up ones, not you.)
can i just add one more thing to your statement. yes the kids that bully you are messed up, i aggree with that. but i think it goes deeper...ummm, think of it this way your father divorsed from your mother at the age of ten, you quickly move to a different place, and put in a totaly new school, new people, thousends of miles from were you used to live, and not being able to talk with any of your mates. At that age, your mental capcity can't handle the situation, exept thru rage, anger, and depression, wich leads to a whole topic thats a blog long type thing. what im trting to say is that not all kids are trying to be bad, they can't handle there situations at all. now others want to be bad,wich is a whole different story. now with divorse and riping apart of familys is higher then ever, kids are now, all the time are being in the cross fire leading to such thing.
I just wanted to say that you're right, and that a lot of bullies (not all of them, but probably most of them) are exactly as you described in your comment, I suspect, although I only have my experiences here on Paint (and here at home IRL) to go based on.
Yes, i agree. I did sort of just show my side, but I might elaborate on the topic of bullies not being what they seem, less cruel, more of sad, hurt, traumatized, and coping their own way, maybe the only way they know. i don't completely judge bullies, but i still hurt from them.
Draconid_Jo
19 Dec 2021 11:58
In reply to royal-rawr
Yep, and although @Itzako did have some valid points, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you giving your perspective, and even though your bullies may be hurting inside themselves, it doesn't excuse what they are doing.
Not every person with those sort of problems in their life becomes a bully, and some people handle those sort of things better than others.
(I haven't exactly had an easy life myself, but I don't bully people, for example.)
royal-rawr
09 Dec 2021 15:48
In reply to Draconid_Jo
Oh my god jo.
I swear you are the nicest person i know here. Don't ever change.
Draconid_Jo
16 Dec 2021 02:52
In reply to royal-rawr
Thanks! I'm glad to hear you say that!
(And don't worry, I'll never change.)
"It gets easier. Every day it gets a little easier. But you got to do it every day. That's the hard part. But it does get easier." -Jogging Baboon, [i]BoJack Horseman[/i]
You can overcome these struggles. Because you do matter.