(WARNING: The following jokes are Dark Humor jokes, and most of them talks about sensitive and offensive topics, viewer's discretion is recommended, if you're hypersensitive, please leave this blog)

1. I always do many jokes about unemployed people, sadly, none of them work

2. What does Nemo and your dad have in common? that both can't be found

3. "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" means the same, except if you're in a funeral

4. I love to mock up about orphans, what they're gonna do, tell their parents?

5. An angry mother said to the doctor "MOTHERF*CKER, YOU'RE FAILED OPERATING MY CHILD AND YOU KILLED HIM" so the doctor said to her: "Sorry, it wouldn't happen again"

6. What does Lasagna and Twin Towers have in common? That between floor and floor there's ground meat

7. Why United States and United Kingdom can't play chess? Because US has no towers, and UK has no queen

8. Do you wanna know how i recently seduced an obese woman? It was a piece of cake!

9. Dark humor is like a pair of legs, not everyone has it

10. Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera

11. My mom died when we couldn't remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to "be positive," but it's hard without her

12. I was playing Call of Duty in the computer room of my school, but in some moment i had to take off my headphones, but for some reason, is that i could still hearing the gunshot sounds even when i took of the headphones

13. One time, a german guy and a french girl tried to have some sex night, and after a good time, they ended and the german guy said: "That was very pleasant honey, but your polish friend lasted longer with me"

14. i won $3 million on the lottery so i decided to donate a quarter if it to charity, now i have $2,999,999.75

15. The president of the United States one day said to Siri: Hey Siri, please send a message to Ivan, and Siri replied: "Understood, sending a missile to Iran"

16. My grandfather said my generation relies roo much on the latest technology, i called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support

17. Why is it that you donate one kidney, people love you, but if you donate five kidneys, they call the police?

18. You're not completely useless, you make a fantastic bad example

19. My mom told to me "One man's trash is another man's treasure." Terrible way to learn i'm adopted

20. My grandma has the heart of a Lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo