**Please do not read if you dislike self-harm**






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If you didn’t know, I recently found out that I have depression. It’s been tough, and lately, I’ve been having suicidal thoughts and hurting myself. I’m not entirely sure why, but I think it’s mostly because of Aryan, some family problems, and stress from school.

If you don’t know who he is, don’t worry—he’s just a guy who says things that make me feel awful. I hate how much he gets to me. I’ve thought about going back to therapy, but I’m scared of what that might bring up with my aunt.

At home, things aren’t great either. There’s always fighting, and it feels like my family is falling apart. I think my brother might be leaving, which makes everything feel even worse. It’s like everything around me is breaking down, and I can’t do anything to fix it.

On top of that, I think I might have anorexia nervosa, which is an eating disorder. I don’t want to eat, and I’m really scared of gaining weight. Even when I’m hungry, I avoid food because the fear of getting bigger is stronger than the hunger.

Right now, everything feels overwhelming, and I’m struggling to handle it all. The depression, self-harm, issues with Aryan, family problems, and the eating disorder—it’s all too much. I’m scared of where this is leading me, but I don’t know how to stop it.

I wish it was easy to just snap out of it, but it’s not. I want to reach out for help and go back to therapy, but I’m also scared. What if it doesn’t work? What if I can’t get better?

I don’t have the answers, but I’m trying to take things one day at a time. Writing this out helps a bit. Maybe by admitting what I’m going through, I can start to find a way forward.
[Edit I forgot To mention some mood swings I have been having so here it is I have been getting mad over nothing and wanting to hurt people just because they were there yea I guess I am a piece of shit]

[Edit again I know I forget a lot of shit anyways my family does not know that I have depression yea... I have to be happy or at lest Pretend to.]
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