I've begged and pleaded for a change that would never be made,
All that I've wanted is someone to love until I lay,
down in the deathbed while my beloved looks at me,
All that i want to see, is my dear so happy.

All that i've looked for is someone who would never hurt me,
someone who'd never hurt me or pretend to cheat on me,
Someone who'd condone me for who I am and not my past,
Someone who's older than I, a place where we could last.

?
It's so hypocritical that I'm in the abandonment,
A select few were fine with someone else dating a little kid,
so why is it that when I try to talk to someone slightly older,
I get the cold shoulder? "Wait until you're older"?

A place as off as this may as well be my resting place,
Everywhere else i've been damned, this was my hiding place,
Imprudent people only made me hate my sinful ways,
And lacerate my arm until it looks so grotesque.
?

~~
(Psalm 127:3-5
“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate".)
~~

-
Oh, my lord, Whatever have I done?
To turn from such a virgin fruit, To dry into a raisin prune.
Have I gone too far with my own words?
To mindlessly follow the devil, sin when i was so beautiful,

Your rules should never be broken,
For I have earned my ticket in hell, due to something i'll never tell,
Oh, my lord, whatever shall I do?
Can't seem to keep my legs together, MAKE ME BLESSED, MAKE ME BETTER.
-

I've ate forbidden fruit, despite my lord saying to not to.
I would have puked it out but I can't force it out, I'm scared to.
The tainted heart that lives inside just keeps on decomposing,
Internal fungal within wraps itself around my soul,

All that I really needed was a place to call my home,
But i've been kicked out due to flaws and acts I can't control,
I've broken hearts, i've sinned to God, I don't need an attorney,
I've broken everything, all my soul's for is more destruction.

?
The urges of violent sacrificing feels necessary,
Might be my only answer to a good end to this story,
Every chance of my own redemption is so far away.
Chances are futile, and all my friendships keep expiring
?

~~
(Romans 6:6
"He himself was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin".)
~~

-
Oh, my lord, Whatever have I done?
To turn from such a virgin fruit, To turn into a ugly prune.
Have I gone too far with my own words?
To mindlessly follow the devil, sin when i was so beautiful,

Your rules should never be broken,
For I have earned my ticket in hell, due to something i'll never tell,
Oh, my lord, whatever shall I do?
Can't seem to keep my legs together, MAKE ME BLESSED, MAKE ME BETTER.

Oh, my lord, Whatever have I done?
To turn from such a virgin fruit, To dry into a raisin prune.
Have I gone too far with my own words?
To mindlessly follow the devil, sin when i was so beautiful,

Should have been traditional and sweet,
I didn't mean to sin, didn't mean to ruin my body,
Stop the modifying, I'll never be free,
"You're not as bad as you seem, I'll follow you for eternity."
-

~~
A building of worship with cameras for safety
A God that will love me will also berate me
Even if you don't want to get to know him,
We're gonna make sure that you get to know him.
A lifetime of sin and some cameras for blackmail,
If I confess my sins, I am going to hell,
Even if you don't want to get to know him,
We're gonna make sure that you get to know him.
~~

-
Heavenly father, please alter this body (Oh, my lord, Whatever have I done?)
It's impure and sinful, I don't want it on me (To turn from such a virgin fruit, to dry into a raisin prune,)
My skin is burning up, expectation is too much (Have I gone too far with my own words?)
You've broken my heart into pieces. Maybe I no longer need it. (To mindlessly follow the devil, sin when I was so beautiful?)

Heavenly father, please alter this body (Your rules should never be broken,)
It's impure and sinful, I don't want it on me (For I have earned my ticket in hell, due to something i'll never tell,)
My skin is burning up, temptation is too much (Oh my lord, whatever shall I do?)
Can't seem to keep my legs together, Make me blessed, make me better
-

(John 8:12
" When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” " )