Well, we all know that you've been very naughty this year and will probably be receiving a lot of coal. Here are some uses for your black pebbles.

1. Use it to make "Coffee".
We all hate one person or another. Why not make them a nice dark cup of coffee?

2. Make diamonds
Everyone knows that diamonds are made of carbon, and coal happens to be made of carbon too! Just add intense heat and pressure, then voila, diamonds!

3. Coat a telescope's rim with black dust.
Do you have too many friends? I know I do. Get rid of them quick with this useful tactic.

4. Curb the coal market
Say there was an... "accident" and all of the world's coal stockpiles spontaneously combusted. Congratz, you're filthy rich.

5. Make a bonfire to burn your parent's stuff
Obviously you're upset that you got coal instead of a PlayBox9001, no? Well show your parent's who they're messing with this fiery idea.

Legal note: I am not liable for any damages, physical or mental, caused by this list. If it eats your cat, I suggest getting a dog. This list is not suitable for those with loose stools containing a large quantity of brick. If you die, please contact your doctor.