Quoth Takis Teh Greek:LOL. Zeus helped you get it accepted? xD And still, it isn't that good. Really dull, boring, with stupid grammar mistakes (meat, huh?).
I didn't help him get anything accepted. I gave him do tips on the story. Please keep yourself informed without mouthing off.
LOL. Zeus helped you get it accepted? xD And still, it isn't that good. Really dull, boring, with stupid grammar mistakes (meat, huh?).
Quoth Takis Teh Greek:LOL. Zeus helped you get it accepted? xD And still, it isn't that good. Really dull, boring, with stupid grammar mistakes (meat, huh?).
LOL. Zeus helped you get it accepted? xD And still, it isn't that good. Really dull, boring, with stupid grammar mistakes (meat, huh?).
Boring, honestly. The transitions are a bit choppy, and there isn't a whole lot in terms of character development. All I really gathered is that Josh got kicked out of his previous school, he's in a new school, and he made a friend. Nothing all that interesting.
In terms of grammar and structure, it's pretty good. A lot better than half the stories posted on this site. Good first draft, expand.
Good job. Very effective suspense.