What I Could Not See

The cold bitter wind cruelly stung my eyes,
It mercilessly stole my breath. 
When I cried, it dried up every tear;
And now, I had none left. 

I could barely move, my body numb;
I killed myself in my mind. 
I used to be proud, vain, and haughty,
Never caring to search for what I couldn't find. 

Everything came easy, wasteful as I was,
I lived only for the day I was in. 
Threw away what I disliked, kept what was pleasing;
I never lost, I would always win. 

You were pleasing, you made me smile,
I liked how you'd work so hard for me. 
Just to get a laugh from my lips, a twinkle in my eyes,
My eyes that were blinded and couldn't see. 

You were reserved, shy, rather quiet, I admit;
But something made me like you despite. 
Perhaps it was your love for a person like myself,
That you made peace instead of causing a fight. 

My folly haunts me, I wish you knew,
But all you think is that I'm foolish. 
I fear my mistake will shadow me my entire life long,
But to die young is now my wish. 

I see now you were different, a rare kind of person,
Who says only what they mean. 
Who isn't fickle and stupid or immature,
Oh, if only that I'd seen. 

But I can't go and find you, I don't know where you are;
You would scoff at the mere sight of me. 
So I walk home alone, the moon in the sky mocking, 
The fact that I could not see.