I'm starting a new series or whatever for your entertainment So here I go!

1.) When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in people's eyes.

2.) I was born smart until education ruined me.

3.) Officer! I swear to drunk I'm not God!

4.) GOT ACNE? Just ask your girlfriend for advice! Oh wait. You don't have one!

5.) That awkward moment when the principal walks by.

6.) People don't have dirty minds. They have sexy imaginations!

7.) If marshmallows take over the world, I wonder what they'd do to us...Roast us over a fire?

8.) I hate when I'm singing and some idiot thinks they can join in with me...... This isn't Glee!

9.) I clapped because it finished, not because I liked it.

10.) Teacher: Come on! You did this in 3rd grade!
You: I don't remember what I had for breakfast!!!!!!!!!!

11.) Please, my phone battery lasts longer than your relationships!

12.) If you want your dreams to come true, WAKE UP!

13.) I'm going to get a dog and name it Naked. Then I am going to walk Naked down the street.

14.) If I can't untangle something within 3 minutes then I start having an emotional breakdown.

15.) When I was a kid, I..... No wait, I still do that.

16.) Stop being so attractive! It's distracting!

17.) R.I.P Summer 2012

18.) Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.

19.) Dear Spiders, Unless you pay rent, you cannot live in my house.

20.) That awkward moment when your hiding from a teacher when they say he/she will pick someone random and they see your hiding so they pick you.

21.) We live in an age of smart phones and stupid people.

22.) That immediate reaction you get from teachers that had your siblings In their class.

23.) So when we're you going to tell me your name isn't Mom?

24.) That moment when your crush texts you.

25.) Never tell a girl to calm down, she'll just get even angrier.

26) Math Problems "Jane bought 72 sodas" Who the heck would buy 72 sodas!?!?!

27.) Mom: Don't talk to strangers.
You: Then how am I supposed to make friends?

28.) My maturity level depends on who I'm with.

29.) We all have a family member who thinks their a professional photographer.

30.) Admit it... You once made a little kid cry and then made them laugh so yAou wouldn't get in trouble.

31.) Dear Cancer, I hope you get cancer and die.

32.) That awkward moment when you finally use the pack of crayons that you got 3 years ago but you have every color but the one you need.

33.) That moment when you tell your parents the truth for once and they still don't believe you.

34.) -food drops on the floor-
Little germs: Get it!
King germ: No! We must wait 5 seconds!

35.) Your old enough to know better. But young enough to try it again.

36.) Dear Computer, If I knit you a sweater will you stop freezing?

37.) There are no stupid ideas. Just stupid people.

38.) When nothing goes right, go left.

39.) I hate it when my pencil has a mind of it's own and rolls off the desk!

40.) When my phone, iPod, or dsi is dying it's a matter of life or death.

41.) Lady: Can I help you?
Person: No, I just waited in line for 30 minutes to say hi.

42.) I hate when my body is like "Time to sneeze!" then it's like "LOL JK!"

43.) Dear Parents, Oh really? I'm the liar? Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Santa Clause! Sincerely, Your Child.

44.) That moment when your in the car and a sad song comes on the radio so you stare out the window and act like your in a movie.

45.) That Super awkward moment when you accidentally call your teacher "Mom"

Comment on which ones you liked th best!