Hello. Once again I'm here today to write about something that'll blow your mind with its astounding truth. As you've already guessed, this is indeed about time travel.

Throughout the ages people have always wondered about time travel, whether or not it's possible, what time travel would mean and how we'd be affected by travelling from one point in time to another and altering history or the future. Well I'm here to tell you that time travel is entirely real, it's a great thing, and you can use it too.

Oddly, time travel has been around and in use for quite some time. It may surprise you but many of you use it daily. If you live in the western hemisphere then you're probably affected by it more than much of the world. What exactly does that mean? I'll explain with the story of how I discovered this.

Yesterday morning while watching television I wanted to find something fun to watch and by mistake I pressed a button I'd never noticed before. The button's name was fitting considering it lead me to an amazing truth: "Guide".

Once in the "guide" menu I saw things only someone from the future could possibly know about! NOVA at 11pm! The news at 12! And best of all, the presidential debate at 6pm! With this "guide" I was able to check what would happen at the debate beforehand. Not only that, but I have now sent the debate to the past using the "record" button. My fellow Paint users, I have done the impossible! I have circumvented the future and placed it into the past! The Presidential Debate is now in my records, and if you ask nicely then I'll let you see what happened. It's very vital information as can be seen by the fact that when I contacted news officials about my discovery they hanged up on me immediately. They must be in shock from learning the truth.

Time travel is real. People east of the Prime Merridean are in the future. Those west of it are in the past. Television is our time machine. And TV Guide is our map to the future.
Thanks for reading