Politicians rarely make any coherent sense, and their policies logically follow that same pattern. One would think that they would occasionally do things right, but that rarely seems the case.

Security

With all the gold coins in the Mushroom Kingdom, it would make sense for Princess Peach Toadstool to actually hire a security detail that doesn't consist of little toadstool men who panic whenever something goes wrong.



These palace security guards can never stop the frequent kidnappings and ransoms of the Princess, so what is the point of even keeping them on the palace payroll?

Military

Apparently, all Princess Toadstool allocates in the Mushroom Kingdom's defense budget is enough funding to hire two drug-addicted illegal immigrant plumbers from Brooklyn, New York (who sneaked into the kingdom through the unguarded sewer system).

Any chance these guys get, they eat random "magic" mushrooms that grow in pipes and hallucinate delusions of grandier.



Their drug addictions cause them to consistently go off track in their royal rescues 87.5% of the time! Only on the 8th try do they actually find where the Princess has been held captive.



There really needs to be a drug rehabilitation program in the Mushroom Kingdom because, on last report, the plumbers hallucinate so badly that there are witnesses who have seen them in public acting like cats, raccoons, frogs, honey bees, and even Superman! It's sad to see grown men run around in cat suits, trying to scale walls!

Foreign Affairs

The nearby Koopa Kingdom is a chaotic place. King Bowser, a single father of 8, barely has the time to dedicate to his own unruly family, much less clean up all the deep potholes and wild animal infestations in his kingdom.



The Princess should reach out to him and give him a phone call some time to show she cares.



All the trouble that Bowser causes is just a cry for attention, caused by the stress of his difficult life. His incompetent military requires him to embarrassingly ask the Princess for help whenever an outside invader attacks his kingdom, as has happened as far back as the Smithy occupation.

Additional Issues

These were just a few of the pressing issues in the Mushroom Kingdom, though there are many more.

It's difficult to place blame, but the Princess' personal advisor, Toadsworth is the logical place.



Time and time again, he lets down the people of the Mushroom Kingdom by providing the Princess with bad advise. In my opinion, he needs to go.