Hello. I am Rainbow. I am an emotional wreck. I am confused. I am tired. I am weird.

But aren't we all? Don't we all have emotions that mess with our soul? Our life? Our sleep? But this is about me, for once. I'm going to talk and you're going to listen. I'm tired of people not listening.

I used to be trusting, used to be nicer. But too many people have broken me down. Best "friends," parents, regular friends. I have slowly died until I've become what I am now, a girl leaking meaningless tears at 2 in the morning.

I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. My voice is often shot down. The person I look up to the most is leaving. I'm going to be alone and I can't handle that. And I'm so happy that they're leaving to an amazing collage, but they're leaving me behind.

I lie so often about being ok. It's because I don't want people to think that I'm a whiney brat. That's why I'm writing this, to get my emotions out, both on the screen and on my pillow. Things are changing and I'm not ok with it. Sometimes I wish that I could sleep all day just so I can avoid life.

There are only so many people I feel safe with. Pretty much just two of my friends. One from kindergarden and one from first grade. And I'll lie to them, but I'll lie less often. I'm not saying that everyone else doesn't know who I really am, it's just that they don't know how I really feel. It's easy to fake emotions when no one sees your face.

I'm sorry. I know that everyone else here has more problems than me, but I need to let my emotions out. I need to do what I do best, write a blog without any proofreading. Without any going back to add juicy details. I'm not even gonna feature this, it's mostly for the people who care enough to go on my profile to see my things. I'm just upset, you know? The stupid weight is back on my shoulders, but I don't know what to do besides tell myself that I'm fine. So... I'm fine.
-Rainbow