This story wasn't written by me. I only translated it to English from Portuguese. The original writers' name will be at the end. Enjoy :3

At The Bar

Customer- Waiter, please. I'd like a cup of coffee with milk and a donut.
Waiter- You'll have to excuse me sir, but we have no donuts.
Customer- Ah? There aren't any donuts?
Waiter- No sir.
Customer- No big deal. Then just give me a cup of coffee, simple. That's it. Just one cup of coffee. (pause) And a donut.
Waiter- I don't think I've explained myself correctly. I told you sir that we don't have any donuts. We're out of donuts.
Customer- Ah then. If it's like that, that changes everything. The donuts are finished?
Waiter- They are, yes sir.
Customer- Then bring me a cup of milk. Do you have milk?
Waiter- We do, yes sir.
Customer- Great. Then bring me a cup of milk. And a donut.
Waiter- I've already said that we don't have donuts! Toast? Yes! Donuts? No! It's been three years sice we've had donuts here!
Customer- Calm down sir. There's no need to be angry. No reason indeed. I'll order something else. Anything else. I'm not picky. I'll drink whatever you'd like me to. Chocolate (milk), tea, whatever. Do you have tea?
Waiter- We do, yes sir.
Customer- There then. Bring me some tea. (pause) And a donut.
Waiter- I already said that there aren't any donuts. Look, just go to another bar. You are going to drive me crazy. Go to another bar!
Customer- No, leave it. Let's change everything. What I don't want is you getting angry sir. Instead of that, bring me something that'll nourish me. Totally different. Some curd. There. Some curd. Do you have curd?
Waiter- We do.
Customer- Do you really?
Waiter- Yes.
Customer- Go look, eh? Don't make me change my whole order in vain again.
Waiter- I already said that we do! Do you want it or not?!
Customer- Want it or not, what?
Waiter- The curd!
Customer- Course I do. Sounds great. Some curd. (pause) But don't forget about my donut.
Waiter- You're crazy right? There aren't any donuts! There aren't any donuts!!
Customer- Alright, alright. No need to yell. Just bring me the donut, done.
Customer 2 (Who is at the table besides them)- Listen here. Are you trying to drive this Waiter mad? It's been ten minutes since I began listening to this crazy conversation and I swear that I don't know how this man can stand you! (To the Waiter) Look, ignore this madman. Just bring him his crappy donut and send him away.

---

This story was originally written by Jô Soares. Resistance Veja. São Paulo, April of 1992.

Translation done by me. :3

Here's a question for you people, what would you do if you were the waiter? .o.