Prepare for disappointment.

I will now tell you about the Outhouse of Wonders. Legend has it, if you visit a certain outhouse on a full moon, you will encounter a portal that takes you to a land of riches. I once visited this marvelous world. The Great Goblin Turd presented me with many gifts from beyond the portal.
But this Great Goblin Turd was no ordinary turd. He was an Alaskan Albino Great Goblin Turd from Argentina. This mystical creature contained mystical powers. He also smelled a bit odd.

So after my voyage through the Outhouse of Wonders, which was in my own Outhouse, I decided to move away. I found a home about twenty miles away.

One time, at work, I went to the break room, and I caught the janitor making out with the wash bucket. He no longer works for us, I fired him.
That’s sexual harassment. Buckets cannot consent.

Then I went home, had a nice supper of lemon juice, broccoli, gluten-free Hawaiian Pizza, without the pineapples, and extra gluten. Then I read a book before going to bed.
The end.


Or is it?