Seriously, why are you still reading these? They’re garbage written by an alcoholic.

I dated this one girl. She was amazing, perfect in every way. We used to sing together at karaoke, we would spend nights playing the guitar and singing. I tell you, she was perfect. She looked like Marilyn Monroe. But this was no ordinary girl. She was a Canadian Albino girl. Her beauty surpassed beyond the limits of your dream girl.
Then one day, she was gone. Left without saying goodbye. About the same time I fell in love with whiskey.
She was a Johnny Cash fan. She knew every song. And me, being related to Johnny Cash, kind of sound like him when I sing. Our karaoke song was Jackson. Everybody loved it.

On the day she left, I came home from work to an empty house. I had me an old fashioned supper of kale, avocado, and ketchup.
Then I sat in the living room, staring into the corner, sipping on the bottle.
Then I reluctantly fell asleep.

The end.


Or is it?