I’m pissed. Jonah beat me to the chase, and now I have no choice but to use this title.

One night, a cricket kept me awake. Me, preferring to have my beauty sleep, decided to hunt for said cricket.
Well, I turned on the light, and there it was. That was easy, no hunting needed. But this was no ordinary cricket, it was a Mexican Albino cricket. He put up a good fight, too. I’d stomp, he’d shuffle to the left. I’d stomp again, he’d shuffle to the right, flipping me the little cricket bird. Remember the scene from the Little Mermaid? You know the one I’m talking about. Imagine that, but with a cricket.
Finally, I had him cornered. He started begging for his life, and singing something about consciences and whistling, but that didn’t last long. He got the boot.

After that, I finally went to sleep. I woke up, but didn’t go to work. Instead, I stayed home all day stuffing my face and watching YouTube.
Then I had a crappy supper consisting of vinilla coke and whiskey.

The end.

















Or is it?