1. "A man is successful when he makes more money than his wife can spend."
2. "When people ask stupid questions I am obligated to give a sarcastic reply."
3. "Every time i see the word 'explain' on an exam I die a little inside."
4. " 'would you like a bag?' 'no, i thought i would just carry these 14 items on my head...' "
5. "Never regret anything because at the time, it was exactly what you wanted."
6. "I don't like your shirt.. take it off ;]"