I was born. After that I lived for a while. Now I'm here.
I guess that's not all that informative, huh? I'd better tell you a bit more...
As I typed already, I was born. I've been told it happened on Earth on a certain day, but I can't remember that ever going down, so I have my doubts. I really have no way of knowing. That's why I celebrate my birthday several times throughout the year.
I'm also told I was born a human and have remained one ever since. No news of what I was before that though. Because I don't have an objective perspective on this, I often try to embrace any and all possible object, animal, and alien heritage I might have. I might really be a lamp or a mouse or a German, I don't know, I haven't been enough of other things to know with certainty what I am and what I'm not. I try to keep things open by taking off all major holidays Germans, mice, and lamps might have. Unfortunately lamps and mice aren't too vocal about what days they consider holidays. I make up for that by just imaging what days they'd consider holidays. Oddly enough, they usually overlap with any deadlines or unpleasant things I might have to do.
It's hard being me. People think I'm just making things up to get out of having to work or help people, but I'm not. I think Refurbishment Day is a very sacred day to most furniture, and since I might actually be something like that, I always make sure to take time out of my schedule to observe that holy day. No matter what other day or days it might happen to fall on, be it someone's birthday or even just a day I don't want to do anything, I'm always ready to drop everything and spend the day celebrating. I do that each... month, I guess? It comes up often. People are always fixing up there home all year round.
So anyway, if you'd like to know more about me, just ask. I'm nicer than I seem. Or you could just flip through my blogs. I never write anything I won't stand by as being absolute fact. And I occasionally write something semi-autobiographical. That's about it. Goodbye and have a great life.
