Hilarious Jokes

Feel free to share these hilarious jokes to your family and/or friends!

-I'm the reason you lost at MKWii! Ha ha!-(3180-8493-0252)

So, there was an American man, a Chinese man, and a Mexican man(no offense). So, these three men were going to Hell.
Well, the Chinese man died because he had AIDS. So, Satan locked him up in a room full of beautiful women. Satan said, "You can go to Heaven if you don't touch these women for ONE YEAR!"
The Mexican man died because he was a drunk. So, Satan locks him up in a room full of alcohol and says, "If you don't drink one bottle of these for ONE YEAR...You can go to Heaven."
The American died because he smoked too much. So, Satan locks him up in a room full of cigarettes and says, "If you don't smoke one single cigarette, for ONE YEAR, you can go to Heaven."

One year passes and Satan goes to the Chinese man's room. He sees the Chinese man kissing the women and says, "You're staying here."
Then, Satan goes to the Mexican's room and sees him passed out drunk. "You're staying here!"

Lastly, Satan goes to the American man and sees him sitting there. The American hasn't touched ONE cigarette. Satan says, "Okay, before you go to Heaven, answer this. How did you do it?"
The American says, "You idiot! You didn't give me a lighter!"

-I'm the reason you lost at MKWii! Ha ha!-(3180-8493-0252)

BWHAHAHAHA this made my day!

DSi Hamburger up above!

Pretty good, eh? :D

-I'm the reason you lost at MKWii! Ha ha!-(3180-8493-0252)

Here's a pretty stupid one:

So, a man and a woman were going to eat at the woman's house. As they sat down at the table, the man saw a picture of another dude. He said, "Who is that?" And she said, "No one don't worry about it!"
While they were eating, he said, "Seriously who is that?" And she said, "No one. Stop worrying about it"
After they were done, he said, "Tell me who that is, or we're through!" So, she says, "You must promise not to panic or leave if I tell you, okay?"
The man says, "I promise!". She said, "That was me before the surgery."

Stupid, I know. But, please read the long one! ↑↑↑It's very funny!

-I'm the reason you lost at MKWii! Ha ha!-(3180-8493-0252)

First one's better.

Catch my drift.

lol thts funny

i just love how you cant get your priorities straight (; haha you'll regret it all dollface

@gaby I'd remove that. :/

And of course: all joke explanations fail. XD

Catch my drift.

@gaby thats a racist joke...

ok so these two idiots are in a junk yard. one finds a mirror and says"hey ive seen this guy before" the other one takes the mirror out of his hand, looks at the irror and says"you idiot, thats me!"

not very good i know...

Ab Ticket.

i got one o3o

Theres three guys. One has a gun, one has a spear, and one has a grenade. Theyre walking along a road. They stop and the guy wit the gun says " wat should i do with this gun?" and the 2 others say "shoot it" so he does and they keep walkin. They stop agian and the guy wit the spear says "wat should i do wit this spear?" and the 2 others say " throw it" so he does and they keep walkin. They stop agian and the guy wit the grenade says "wat should i do wit this grenade?" and the 2 others say "throw it" so he does and they continue walkin. soon they come across this girl cryin over her cat. they ask her wats wrong and she says "sum1 shot my cat" they keep walkin. soon they come across this boy cryin over his dog. they ask him wats wrong and he says "sum1 speared my dog" and they keep walkin. soon they come across a man laughin on a toilet. they ask him y hes laughing and he says " i farted and my house blew up!"

:3 idk i tell this joke alot not sure if its funny....

I'm one of those people who start dancing the Macarena all of a sudden at the most serious part of a conversation.

ROFL, Elly!

-I'm the reason you lost at MKWii! Ha ha!-(3180-8493-0252)

i could think of more if i wasnt so tired x_x

I'm one of those people who start dancing the Macarena all of a sudden at the most serious part of a conversation.

Knock knock

Who's there?

KGB

KGB who?

Ve vill ask ze questions!



(KGB is the russian spy organization. kind of like the CIA in America)

twitter.com/TheRealNicolEbi

[no offence to blondes D:]

Theres a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. They just robbed a bank and the cops r after them. They run into a warehouse and hide in some sacks. The police come into the warehouse. They go up to the sac containin the brunette. One of te cops kicks and the brunette says "meow meow" and the cop says "its just a cat" and they move on. they come to the sac wit the red head inside. One of the cops kick it and the red head says "bark bark" and the cop says "its just a dog" and they move on. They come to thesac wit the blonde in it. One of the cops kick it and the blonde says "potatos potatos" and the cops find her and she gets arrested.

its lame...and agian no offence to blondes! D:

I'm one of those people who start dancing the Macarena all of a sudden at the most serious part of a conversation.

Meg-LOL! xD

Elly-Once again...Pretty funny.

I've got a dumb blonde joke! (No offense blondies!)

So, a blonde goes into Wal-Mart. She walks up to the counter and says, "I'd like to buy this TV please!" And the guy says, "Sorry, we don't accept dumb blondes."

The blonde says, "Oh darn it!" and walks out. An hour later, she comes back with a brunette wig on. She goes up to the counter and says, "I'd like to buy this TV please!" and the guy said, "Sorry, we don't accept dumb blondes!"

The blonde said, "Oh darn it!" and walked out. An hour later, she comes back with a red head wig on. She walks up to the counter and says, "I'd like to buy this TV please!" The man said, "I told you, we don't accept dumb blondes!"

The blonde said, "How'd you know? I was wearing a wig!" The man said, "Because this is a microwave!"

-I'm the reason you lost at MKWii! Ha ha!-(3180-8493-0252)

lol :-E

I'm one of those people who start dancing the Macarena all of a sudden at the most serious part of a conversation.

lol so funny

*Rubs hurting back, where he fell off a ballown.*

proper fuunnnyyy

*Rubs hurting back, where he fell off a ballown.*

Video games don't affect kids. If they did, we would be hanging around in dark mazes, listening to repetitive music, and munching magic pills.

Goodbye my only friend. Oh, did you think I meant you?

Heard this one today:

So this kid has a dream one night, and in the dream, his uncle dies. The next day, guess what, his uncle is found dead. So he thinks 'Wow, what a coincidence.' The next night, he has a dream where his aunt dies. And so, the next morning, his aunt has a heart attack and dies in the hospital. So he thinks 'Wow, my dreams predict deaths.' So the next night, he has a dream where his dad dies. When he wakes up, he warns his dad. So his dad goes to work and is cautious all day. He gets home and his wife asks his day went. The dad says "Awful". The wife replies "You think YOU had a bad day? Our milkman dropped dead on the front porch."

*insert creative signature here*