It took me awhile to think If I should go with them but my bestfriend kept spamming my name telling me to come It was annoying getting messages every 1 second saying ″mil come with us to the woods its gonna be mad boring without you″mil was short for milly my beautiful name that was given to me when I was born. After thinking I said yes which Is probably the worst decision I will ever make in my life but I had to go It was my bestfriend after all..right?The woods wasnt the strangest thing I was focused on, It was Max aka my bestfriend because I felt like he was hiding something from me but Im just ignoring it because Im getting more worried about entering the woods, just gives me the chills.They planned a date for when we will go camping which Is In 2 days and we made a list of what will we bring which is snacks, sleeping bags, a tent, bored games and other random stuff that you need for camping.I completely forgot to ask my parents If I can even go but surely they will say yes but I wont tell them Im camping In the woods because they will definitely say no, I'll just say im camping at a campsite anyway.It was one day before the camping trip with friends and I got a strange message from a unknown number I obviously thought It was a scam because who could possibly message me?I really wish I didnt check the message.. Im gonna do a part 3 hopefully you guys like it! I appreciate tips
Ok, gonna go ahead and say this here, the lack of punctuation and weird wording makes this read like a train of thoughts. I'm not trying to be mean, just giving a honest opinion. I'm a random dude on the internet, don't take it to heart lol, I'm not James Patterson or anything.
By the way I want to give props to the cliffhanger, it's a really open one which leaves room for theorys.
I'm gonna rewrite a part of the story just to show how I'd do it. (REMEMBER IM NOT JAMES PATTERSON)
[I laid down on my bed, thinking about the heavy decison that was brought up earlier when my phone buzzed once more. I groaned and rolled over, grabbing my phone and unlocking it. I had 28 new messages on Discord, all from one person. My dearest best friend Max. All the messages were identical, they all read: "Mil, come with us to the woods, it'll be MAAAADDDD boring without you."
Now dear reader, you may be asking yourself "Mil? that's a strange name." You'd be right, because it isn't my name. It's short for my beautiful name. Milly.
Max's push broke me and I responded with shaking hands: "Fine."]
You really need to put more emphasis on where the characters are and when. I just assumed Milly was in their room at the starting half lol.
Sorry for writing this essay, once again I'm not being a jerk. Just trynna help.
This story being told here has potential.
tiaiscool
26 Aug 2024 09:45
In reply to Kashbanooka
Thanks i appreciate it! Ur not being mean dw i need all the tips i can get to get better at writing.
Kashbanooka
26 Aug 2024 14:23
In reply to tiaiscool
By tiaiscool
Kashbanooka
